Conversations with Dr. Pope Next Episode

By Sheila Pope

I met with my next guests, Reginald Guillory and his wife Millie to plan the two-part series. During the first episode, we will discuss criminal justice reform, the re-entry process, and patterns of criminal behavior in families. I am the founder and CEO of The Next Move Re-entry Program 501c3 These issues are heart issues for me. I hope my work will shine a positive light on the experiences of ex-offenders and provide some resources for those in need of help.

During the second episode, we will meet and have a conversation with women who love and support ex-offenders. We will explore their choices to love ex-offenders and the cost they often pay to love their mates. More professional women are living with, married, it dating ex-offenders. We want to explore their rationale for taking the leap.

We hope both episodes of @Conversations with Dr. Pope will help our audience gain valuable information about the struggles and successes of ex-offenders and the women who love and support them.
If your company would like to sponsor the episodes, please contact us at: 832.633.8304

popesresourcecenter@gmail.com

Another Successful Dissertation Client!

By Dr. Sheila Pope

My SECOND dissertation client called me to share her exciting news: her dissertation was approved by her committee and it has been sent to her school for final approval!

I have coached my client through stressful times and edited her work for the last year. I tell my clients, “I am here until the end”. Sometimes it takes a while for the end to arrive. I had the honor to edit her proposal, her ethics paper, her Capstone project, and her final Capstone Report!

Trust is Required
I am glad my client trusted me to help her accomplish her goal. She was not always happy with my feedback, but she listened and respected my knowledge of Capella’s process. We spent a great deal of time via the phone and I will miss her, but I look forward to working with her in other professional endeavors.

Capella’s Capstone Project
Capella University has cut down the time it takes to earn a doctorate in Education. My client contracted my services in September 2017 when she was ready to write. I am proud of her! I have TWO clients preparing to defend this month!

Two Opening!
I have openings for two more Dissertation Clients. I can only take a couple at a time. I stay until the end. I provide clients with several opportunities to talk with me via phone and email. I thoroughly edit and return work with feedback to help clients secure their mentor’s approval. I coach clients through the creative process and through conquering milestones. I celebrate their success like it was my own. I love this part of coaching. Getting the phone call makes my day!

Superwoman with Flaws

by Dr. Sheila Pope

superwoman.jpg

This week something happened to me and I cannot ignore it. I met a man with x-ray vision! Yes, that’s right Superwoman met Superman.  He used his x-ray vision to see straight through me! I was naked figuratively within two hours.  How does that happen? It happened while talking.

I was having a great conversation when boom out of nowhere his x-ray vision spotted my secret weapon, my strength. I was asked a simple question: Why are you not married? I was caught completely off guard. I laughed because I could only laugh. What do you do when someone touches on that secret question you had been asking yourself the Sunday before the phone call. As a matter of fact, I have been asking myself the question for a couple of years.

Not only did he ask the question, he gave me his answer to his question. He simply said, “You are a strong woman.” My reply, “How did you know that I was strong?” In that conversation, I was not spitting out my crazy rhetoric. I was not running a meeting. I was not saying, “I do not tolerate this or that”. I was just talking about something we both share a common interest. I was shocked that he knew my  KRYPTONITE. Yes, being a strong woman to some men is not appealing. They love your ability to get things done and to take charge, but they also want you to ALLOW them to be the man in a relationship and to respect them in their role.

He said he could hear my strength via my conversation. Then he asked another question that indicated he also had the ability to cut right through my stuff. He asked, “Can you take your cape off when you enter into a relationship with a man? cape off

At this point, I am rolling my eyes up and in my head and asking myself if I should I answer truthfully or tell him what I KNOW he wants to hear. I decided to shoot straight. My secret cover was blown. I said, “Yes! I can take my cape off when I hit the door.” What he did not know was my cape was barely hanging on my body. Being Superwoman, Bat Girl, and Wonder Woman is tiring! I am tired of blocking all of the unfair, disrespectful obstacles that come my way on a daily basis as a businesswoman, a mother, a single woman, a black woman, and as a friend. Some days I feel overwhelmed with fear and concern for my financial future. Sometimes I feel lonely.

I listen to folks in bad marriages and on some days I think at least you have someone. That thought flees quickly because I would rather be single than married and miserable. Then, I put my cape back on and get back on my grind and say to myself: Don’t Settle! There are days when I am wondering how am I going to meet my budget for the month and I ask myself where is the man who will rescue me? Then, I admit he does not exist; then, I put on my cape and carry on like business as usual.

The last thing he said floored me. He said, “You are the type of woman who will look at me when I say something you do not like and challenge me.” I laughed so hard at his summation of my behavior. He was RIGHT! I have had to really work hard for the last year to truly understand men MUST be treated with RESPECT and KINDNESS.  

I know how to respect men. I talk with men all the time. I am friends with several strong men, but I have not always treated the men I loved with the level of respect they deserve. I have not always allowed them to have the last word. I have wasted too much energy trying to tell a man he must respect me instead of quickly leaving him when he does not. I have stood up to controlling men and lost my control in the mist of the battle. I have used my strength to help build up my men, while they have spent too much time trying to figure how to decrease my strength.  When women spend too much time trying to please the wrong men, they lose respect for all men. My greatest downfall was partnering with men that needed my strength and utility to maintain, but they could not stand my inner strength. Free-spirited, strong women work best when they are given the ability to soar. We need our capes to soar!

It has taken me two years to get my Superwoman outfit on straight. I  understand the power that I have as a woman is not to have the last say, to defend myself at all cost, to run towards drama, to create discontent in my home, and to make a man feel like he is the “woman” in a relationship.  My mission in life as Superwoman with flaws is to ask more questions while getting to know a man. If he has flaws that I cannot live with, then I should maintain the friendship and immediately disengage a relationship.  When I feel the need to say something hurtful, shut my mouth and walk or run away if necessary. I must maintain PEACE in all my relationship. Finally, as Superwoman carrying my cape with flaws, I can be VULNERABLE anytime and anywhere.

Like most superheroes, I have secret powers too. I am using my wisdom, my critical thinking skills, my passion, my kindness to build men up and to encourage them. I too can see men’s strengths and some of their weaknesses. I have decided to accept them for who they say they are. I am being honest and I am listening. I am on a mission to teach other Superwomen to listen to men when they talk to us about us. I am not ashamed to say, I needed to work on me before getting married. I have embraced the fact that not all men can handle a strong woman. I am strong and that will not change. However, I can take my cape off and gladly let a man step up and make decisions. I will always use my influence to shape those decisions.  I gladly welcome the man who can see my strength, see my beauty, respect my intelligence, and recognize my flaws, and still build and love me. I am rare individual: I am Superwoman with flaws.

red cape

After the First Year!

by Dr. Sheila Pope

Decision 2

Today, I had the realization that on January 30, 2017, I walked away from a career and job that I loved. My health could not withstand the stress that I encountered from constant harassment on my job as an educator during the last few months of 2016. I am still an educator, but in December of 2016, I knew I needed a RESET. By nature, I am a fighter. If someone attacks me mentally and/or physically, I am going to do everything in my power to stop them. This battle was a not a street fight; it was a spiritual and mental battle. I was able to walk away, but I was traumatized. I never understood WHY the harassment started. I was loyal to the school; I loved the students; I demonstrate I could teach in urban high school in a community with high crime rates; I demonstrated I could raise STAAR ELAR test scores significantly! Yet that was not enough!

Time Lapse

I did not know how bad my wounds were until January 30, 2018. I was looking at my W2 Form asking myself, “Why was my income from my full-time job and my part-time position so low?” I kept counting my time from August to January until a friend said, “You left the job in December 2016 and you resigned in January of 2017.” It finally resonated with me that I was only technically employed for the month of January in 2017 at the school. Although I physically left the job in December of 2016 and resigned in January 2017, I was still THERE mentally. I had healed, but the memories were still painful. I had not realized that I had not worked physically at that job since 2016. I could still see a few scars.

The Leave

In January 2017, I had been on a needed medical leave. My body was failing in multiple areas. I was sick and exhausted. My psoriasis was the worst it had been in years. It was all over my body. My hair was shedding to the point that I was wearing baseball caps to hide the damage. I was ready to launch an all out legal war to fix the issue. Yet one day while seeking legal advise, I heard in my spirit I could not finish what I was about to start. I did not have the mental nor physical capacity to do what it took to WIN. When I fight, I go for the kill. Whatever I do, I give 120%. There was the problem. You cannot continue to give your all in too many areas. You will crash and burn. I crashed, but for GOD, I did not burn. Instead, I took a seat! I walked away and worked on getting my body back on track. I wanted my hair to grow back. I wanted my anger and pain to go away. I love to laugh. I laugh hard. I had stopped laughing due to the harassment. I was crying frequently because I could not continue to withstand the mistreatment that I was dealing with on a daily basis.

The Decision

I had four children to raise. I had a mortgage and a major car payment to continue to make. Yet on January 30, 2017, none of that mattered. What mattered most to me was having a peace of mind. I needed time to heal spiritually, mentally and physically. My return date for work was February 2017. I knew I could not return to the school. I loved the students but I had to love me more. I told God that I would trust Him and move forward in building my company. I always viewed my business as a part-time thing. In January 2017, I said I was going to dedicate all of my energies into it. I was never going to be in the position that someone else could control my destiny. I would never allow myself to get back to the way I felt from October through December 2016. I would never allow myself to be publicly shamed and harassed. I would never allow a man or a women in leadership to abuse me in my place of business or in my personal life.

Anniversary Date

On January 30, 2018, I realize I am laughing hard again. My spirit is strong and I have my fight back. I no longer need to fight my battles. I truly understand and believe God fights all of my battles. I know He will multiple your blessings; He will meet all of your needs. He enlarges your territory. I have three businesses that I have founded; I created a FB group: Boss Ladies. I have a podcast on Sound Cloud: Boss Ladies. I trust my gut about people and decisions I make. I have strong friendships and healthy relationships.

I have moved into the STEM arena. I am the Founder and Superintendent of the nonprofit (501c3), Dr. Pope’s Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM) and Liberal Arts Academy. Instead of trying to convince others that we need to do something different to educate children in 2018, I have created a school to try new innovative ways to educate all children regardless of their socioeconomic status, race, gender and sexual orientation. As the founder and CEO of a Historically Underutilized Business (HUB), The Resource Center, I use my tech skills, coaching skills, professional develop development skills, and writing/editing skills to serve clients. While working in the school system, I discovered in the current school system there are too many students being prepared for prison; they have criminal records before they earn their diplomas. I am the Founder of the non-profit (501c3), The Next Move Re-entry Program, to help advocate and provide services for those students and other non-violent ex-offenders. On this day, I am grateful for the health issues I experienced in 2016. They made me stop and RESET. I am glad I am reconcile God rescued me and he placed within me a vision for three businesses. I love being a CEO & Founder. I cannot wait to see what God does in 2019.

The Resource Center

https://www.popesresourcecenter.com

Dr. Pope’s STEM and Liberal Arts Academy

https://www.drpopesstemandliberalartsacademy.com

The Next Move Re-entry Program

https://www.nextmovereentryprogram.org

Pushing Your Sons Out of the Nest

by Dr. Sheila Pope

Today, I am happy to announce my oldest son was pushed out of the nest last week and on October 13th, he learned to fly independently! He is moving to Mississippi. He is driving with a few friends to Mississippi and living in his own apartment across from his dad, my ex-husband.

Image Credit: Dr. Sheila Pope

For the single mothers struggling to let go of their adult sons, listen to your inner voice and trust God to help you release them. I held on to Chris out of fear that he would not survive without my help. Yet this last year, I realized I prepared him to become an awesome young man. Last week, I realized I needed to let him go before I killed his spirit and before I killed his motivation to survive. 

When I released him, I had peace. I had no worries. When he returned with his plan, I knew I made the right choice as a mother. His sibilings were happy to see him and to know they could talk with him via the phone. Chris was not angry with me. He had his chest stuck out. He is finally getting his road trip. Now, his father in heaven and his dad can help him become a responsible man. 

When he came to say goodbye last night before leaving, I gave him several hugs, told him I loved him, and gave him his cell phone.  I will admit I was proud of him. I asked if he was sure of his plans and he said yes he was sure. 

I have three more children to raise as a single mom and I am excited to start this new journey. Chris has helped me so much with the children, but they are able to rock and roll with me now. My life changes too! However, I will not let fear and discomfort cause me to hinder Christopher’s ability to become the man of his own home. 

Single moms we have to know when to let go of our baby boys. When they are taller than us, can talk back to us, capable of manipulating us, they  are not paying any bills, they are taking more than they give, they are failing to see you as a blessing, they are a high school graduate, they are intelligent, they are physically able to work, and they are 18 years of age with a car, it is time to push them out of the nest.

Moms don’t let fear hold you hostage and cause you to create a irresponsible man. Let go and let God show you how to support him from a distance.

The Storm: Hurricane Harvey by Dr. Sheila Pope

Our power was restored yesterday evening! It was difficult to maintain three days without power. My four children enjoyed their gadgets, but I had to do so much to keep things going. I have been “The One” to lead my family for years.

It becomes harder during difficult times to make decisions for everyone. It is difficult to get up and do for everyone else when you are running on empty.

I realized three months ago, I needed a partner for life. I am and will always be a strong woman, but I am tired of being without a real partner to go through the storms of life with. I hated getting out in the rain to find ice and food for my family. My hair was a mess from psoriasis and the rain. I hated having to answer the questions the children had about the hurricane. I wanted a hug yesterday. 

I need a place to cry without having to explain my emotions to my children.  I hated driving through high water and wondering if my SUV and my  house would flood. 

This storm is not over, but having the power restored gave me a chance to sleep in a cool space. It made my children appreciate electricity. My girls slept in my bed last night, my baby boy was on the floor in my room and my oldest disappeared to his room. Yet we all understood we were a family. We knew things could be worst!

This morning, I am still “The One”, but today I am clear on the fact that I need a partner for life. I need a partner that is committed to battling the literal and figurative  storms of life. I need a partner that will love me unconditionally and is willing to fight for the safety of this family. Until, he comes, I will continue to battle storms. I know God is always there. However, it would be nice to have a partner there too.